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27.5.11

Glory Revealed...

I can’t really put into words what I’m feeling in this moment. Life seems to move so quickly, but looking back makes every step look so far away. I just got done re-reading the blog posts that Brit and I compiled when we lost Glory and I’m just weeping. I didn’t realize that it was going to hit me like it did. For months now, we’ve talked about the healing we’ve experienced since finding out we were pregnant again with Mazlin Thomas (yes…we’re having a boy!), however today in these moments the fact that life is but a breath has hit home once again.

There’s this reality to life that seems to catch us off guard sometimes. “... In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) It’s the reality that it’s not a matter of “if” but rather a matter of “when” in regards to heartache, pain and trials in our lives. We all know they’ll come.

I used to experience a lot of fear in my life. I’d worry and get anxious that something awful was going to happen circumstantially or to someone I love. I’d drive myself crazy thinking of all the possible scenarios and it stole my life and my joy. I haven’t reached a point of complete freedom yet, however I have been able to move to a place where I spend more time focusing on the promises of God rather than the irrational fears that have no bearing or weight in the things I have little to no control over. I owe a lot of that to how God used Glory in my life.

I will never forget the images of watching Brittany’s body “deliver” Glory. I’ll never forget scooping Glory’s partially formed body from the toilet with a kitchen ladle, and I’ll never forget embracing my wife as we both cried over the child that we never got to hold alive. It’s raw and it’s real, and the experience has marked me, but it’s also opened my eyes to the truth that it’s not about me and it’s not about what I want, but it’s about God and what He wants to do.

God didn’t make Glory die, but He did turn what the enemy wanted to use to hurt and harm us, into good. It’s a place in my journey toward knowing Jesus and becoming more like Him where I was forced to press into God…to be honest with Him about my heart, my hopes, my dreams and my struggles and in turn He revealed to me more of who He wants me to be. He asked me to trust Him, even when life seems tragic and unfair.

God’s Word is full of promises like Romans 8:28 that says “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” And Jeremiah 29:11 that says “11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” And John 10:10, “10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”  The question is, do we take what God say’s to heart, believe it and experience His power and life changing presence amidst our pain? Or do we continue to live our lives under an umbrella of whoa enslaved to the troubles we were told we would have? Will you continue to let the enemy steal your life? Or will you draw your sword, fight the battle and gain the victory that Jesus so badly wants to you to experience?



1.5.11

Our porch

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